Running away
Sunday...it wasn't the best of days, at least internally.
I came to work, worked quite fast...not so much talking but I had so much fun and then I heard something that really messed my mind up. A friend (or so I thought), my friend whom I went to Café Opera with, whom I met Dj Jay with then, made a LOUSY comment on my roots. Where I'm from....well the continent at least. That surely pissed me off and since I didn't want to start an argument, I just stop talking.
She asked what was wrong and "do you want to talk" and I just responded: Not really.
I felt the anger boil inside of me, my blood running around like crazy and I felt the need to go out in the balcony to breathe. What just happened? Did I just hear this? Am I in a lousy dream, trying to wake up? No...it happened, it happened right there.
My shift ended at 1 pm. I planned to go home, but since the anger was hiding like a monster I thought that the best idea was to run away....don't go home....just do anything else. I felt the tears run down my cheeks, while I took the bus and made the change to take the train. I went to town, to a sanctuary, the Catholic church in Söder. I prayed, cried my eyes out and then felt this relief while I lit the candles...there wasn't much room to put them so I had to squeeze in between the other candles. Think I burned part of my wrist but it didn't matter...
When I walked out, my mom called. I couldn't tell her that I didn't feel well, so I lied. I told her I had to work, that I would be home later...so she could be calm and not ask too much. I still felt the tears running but it didn't hurt anymore.
I checked my phone for the time, I had just seen that the movie "Eat Pray Love" was showing at 14:30 at Saga theater...so I ran to the subway and got to the movies. I'm reading the book and so far I like it, but I was in need to be busy for a few hours, to calm my heart. Instead of you know, getting angry with the wrong people.
The movie was absorbing, beautiful and incredibly inspiring. Just like the book, which I still want to read since it's very funny. I loved the movie, every single minute and I think I know what I needed when I got in to the movies in the first place: an answer.
If you got the time....WATCH IT!!!! You'll see what I mean!
" You can love the whole world, but don't force it love you."
That is going to be my motto, I won't force anyone to love me...but I'll love the whole world or at least part of it. It feels....great. I'll do things I'm too shy for, but still I'll try. Then see what happens.
Javier Bardem playes Felipe, a loving father, brasilian and makes "mixtapes". ^^
Julia Roberts is Elizabeth "Liz" Gilbert, an older "me" with more courage and life ^^
I came to work, worked quite fast...not so much talking but I had so much fun and then I heard something that really messed my mind up. A friend (or so I thought), my friend whom I went to Café Opera with, whom I met Dj Jay with then, made a LOUSY comment on my roots. Where I'm from....well the continent at least. That surely pissed me off and since I didn't want to start an argument, I just stop talking.
She asked what was wrong and "do you want to talk" and I just responded: Not really.
I felt the anger boil inside of me, my blood running around like crazy and I felt the need to go out in the balcony to breathe. What just happened? Did I just hear this? Am I in a lousy dream, trying to wake up? No...it happened, it happened right there.
My shift ended at 1 pm. I planned to go home, but since the anger was hiding like a monster I thought that the best idea was to run away....don't go home....just do anything else. I felt the tears run down my cheeks, while I took the bus and made the change to take the train. I went to town, to a sanctuary, the Catholic church in Söder. I prayed, cried my eyes out and then felt this relief while I lit the candles...there wasn't much room to put them so I had to squeeze in between the other candles. Think I burned part of my wrist but it didn't matter...
When I walked out, my mom called. I couldn't tell her that I didn't feel well, so I lied. I told her I had to work, that I would be home later...so she could be calm and not ask too much. I still felt the tears running but it didn't hurt anymore.
I checked my phone for the time, I had just seen that the movie "Eat Pray Love" was showing at 14:30 at Saga theater...so I ran to the subway and got to the movies. I'm reading the book and so far I like it, but I was in need to be busy for a few hours, to calm my heart. Instead of you know, getting angry with the wrong people.
The movie was absorbing, beautiful and incredibly inspiring. Just like the book, which I still want to read since it's very funny. I loved the movie, every single minute and I think I know what I needed when I got in to the movies in the first place: an answer.
If you got the time....WATCH IT!!!! You'll see what I mean!
" You can love the whole world, but don't force it love you."
That is going to be my motto, I won't force anyone to love me...but I'll love the whole world or at least part of it. It feels....great. I'll do things I'm too shy for, but still I'll try. Then see what happens.
Javier Bardem playes Felipe, a loving father, brasilian and makes "mixtapes". ^^
Julia Roberts is Elizabeth "Liz" Gilbert, an older "me" with more courage and life ^^
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