cillathenomad

GAH!!!!!! *screams loudly*

 

Don't you girls hate when guys you like (and you've made it clear that you're interested) just pretend they don't know anything about your feelings??!! Okay, I get if some guys can't talk about feelings but isn't kind off plain bullshit when they don't finish a conversation or just IGNORE you over phone/text/Twitter/Facebook and so on.

 

Oh you want examples...alright, I'll give you some 

 

Recently I met this guy, with awesome manners and a very sweet heart but really sucks when it comes to keep a conversation alive or even understand that maybe I wanna be asked "How are you?" once in a while. So yeah, as you can see I'm angry!! Or even worse...dissapointed. Didn't think all the guys where just as stupid...I'm sorry, but no I mean that. STUPID! I don't avoid talking about feelings, it actually clears up the air between you.

 

That wasn't possible 17 years ago, when I was hurt for the first time by a guy that doesn't matter to me anymore besides bringing bad memories to life. He said in public (in junior high school) that I wasn't girlfriend material, I could only have friends but never be a girlfriend. I lived with those words for 17 years, thinking that he was right.

Now I know that he was just trying to hurt me, but sometimes those nightmares come back to haunt me when someone shows a little bit of affection. Like "Runaway Bride" I run and since nobody tries to stop me, I get away. Of course, I have a very sensitive radar that separates the few good guys I meet from the bad and I know when to leave. But when I fall for someone real, something that seem to have similarities with me, I want to fight for it and I lose...over and over again.

Long ago, when I fell for my guy-friend Marcus...he too has problems confronting his feelings and he also suffers from verbal incompetence (he can't say things without hurting people) so even I had to suffer his tantrums. I thought that maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship and I waited, but clearly he never made it to my point. We aren't friends today, not because of my feelings...I still loved him as my friend but he doesn't even know what those words mean. By that I mean, he doesn't even tell his family that he loves them.